Music is my road... into a pair of 36 jeans... maybe.

I'm totally in a massive funk right now. Not for any particular reason. I’m sure some of it has to do with not eating much, some with only losing .5 lbs last week, our CEO coming straight out and telling us no raises this year (in April when raises are in JULY!!!), feeling under qualified to leave this pop stand, wanting to be home working on the yard, having my current client continually miss payment deadlines, etc.

I basically just want to shoot anyone that walks near me right now. (please don't use this in a police report later... I'm not seriously going to kill anyone.... might maim um a bit tho)

Last night I did get to see Wynton Marsalis at the Nancy Hanks Lecture put on by Americans for the Arts. It was a flash back to Erdmann's jazz history class + Ken Burns on Jazz + every book on jazz history I've ever read all rolled into one for the purpose of realizing how much American music has helped develop our culture and other cultures around the world without most people ever knowing it.

So afterwards to try to get off the depressing topic of music appreciation in public schools I started to think how I could relate what I heard from Wynton to what the subject matter of this blog is. I actually came up with something.

I'm paraphrasing here (but I'll post the transcript when it is made available) but he basically said how people need to know where they've been and where they are so they can make sure they don't just circle around and repeat everything all over again. He made a very spot on comparison to early 1900's minstrel shows and the degrading lyrics about women and blacks and then rapped lyrics from Dr. Dre's "Ain't Nothing But a G Thang." It was startling how similar the content was between the two considering the later claims to hate and rightfully should hate everything related to the whole black-faced debacle and that whole segment of American history.

My fattiness point is this… I’m good at losing weight it seems. I’ve done it three times now. The first time was junior year of college when I lost 40 some due to a long relationship ending badly. Second was 18 months ago when I lost 23 in the first biggest loser competition. Now I’m down 38 and nearing the end of this biggest loser run. Calculating the net gain/loss of weight over those 6 years and I’ve lost over 100 lbs and still manage to stay in the 235-255 weight range when I should be well under 200. I’m a yo-yo’er that can’t keep the weight off. This cycle of obesity needs to stop. I need to learn moderation. Most importantly I need to remember how tiresome, tough, time consuming and overly obnoxious the whole weight-loss process is. If I can manage all of that… I might actually be able to keep off all the hefty spare tires and learn to not repeat this shit again… as much as I love this blog and all, its just not worth it.